I went out in town this morning in my little neighborhood of Haarlem. I haven't gone shopping yet for maternity clothes. I'm only 13 and a half weeks pregnant. None of my bras fit me and most of my clothes don't either. I can't get anything over these bazookas. I'm not showing yet so the only bumps I have are twins on my chest which are rapidly turning into Everest sized mountains. Now I was never small - I am naturally about an E cup, but now, it's ridiculous. Anyone who thought I looked fake before pregnancy will definitely think I am doing something very dodgy career-wise now. I can only fit into my wrap dresses because they are adjustable.
All I can tell you is I got the strangest reception from everyone today. From cashiers at the local department store to women on the street. One woman was so mesmerized she couldn't get her head around putting an item I had purchased for my mother-in-law into a bag. I had to ask her several times. She faffed around and then finally pulled out a plastic sack and blushed. She avoided eye contact, she literally didn't know where to look. It was like I'd shown up in a thong and stripper heels.
When we were out to breakfast to read the newspapers and munch on some yummy bagels at my local Bagels and Beans cafe, I could feel eyes on me. I turned around to see the stares of two young women talking about the boob job across the aisle. The boob job apparently was yours truly. I feel like I need a plaque saying 'Not fake, just pregnant'. Suddenly I am yearning for a tummy bump so I have an excuse for the size of my chest. My partner thinks I should be flattered. I'm not. I'm just annoyed. Especially when these inflata - breasts growing bigger and bigger with dairy goodness (or maybe just chocolate and ice cream) do not seem to want to stop. I think they may run for congress without me. God knows no one would notice with the amount of boobs already in office.
My friend Donna knows a girl who ended up as a size K. I didn't even know they made bras that big. They must look like pieces of industrial equipment. That is circus freak size. God help me.