Tuesday, 30 April 2013
Well everyone, I am sorry that I disappeared completely. I see there are so many of you who are still reading my posts and I thank you for it. I now have a five month old son, he is three months old in the picture above. His name is Jake Xavier. :) He is wonderful, so if you are going through some terrible pregnancy dramas now, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and you will be delighted in the end.
I was actually afraid that I wouldn't love my baby because I was so miserable and in so much pain during pregnancy. It was to the point that when I was 9 months and 3 days pregnant, one day before I gave birth, I remember having words with my bump and saying "You have to come now, or I might just hate you." I look back at that now and can't believe I even thought that. Nothing could be farther from the truth. He is my sunshine in this mediocre place that I live in.
Pregnancy was no picnic for me, I hope it is better for you. Now looking back on it, I think several things were at play. Firstly, I was super ill and had no energy, Secondly, I had moved to a country that I really didn't like and had none of my close friends around for support and Thirdly there is a general lack of beauty and nature here, the landscape is bleak, flat and uninspiring.
If there is one bit of advice I can give to pregnant women. Unless you know that you love the country or locale you are moving to, and have a support network already there, for God's sake do not move to somewhere unfamiliar when you are pregnant. You feel hormonal and vulnerable. It's just not the time. Stay somewhere safe and warm and nurturing.
This is my 12th country, so I am sort of a seasoned veteran when it comes to moving country, but this one knocked me for ten. I was alone, miserable and in what felt to me to be a totally hostile environment. It didn't help that I had no energy to go and meet people ( in particular expats). I am only now meeting people and starting to enjoy it a little bit. However when I was pregnant I really wish that I had been at home where a bunch of my friends have just had kids,and are fun, warm and charming. I am finding a group here now but it has been really hard work.