I was just talking to a friend of mine who is about 5 months pregnant. Now she is tiny and really cute and sweet with a normal sized bump. Apparently some biatch was talking to her and instead of asking her like a normal person , " So when are you due?" she said, like she was some kind of baby measuring expert " Oh you must be due in what? Two months?" I think some people just try to make other people feel bad.
Now, my poor friend is really nice and sweet so she just nervously laughed and said " No, No in about four months" to the raised eyebrows of the person involved. What the F***? So I thought it was important to prepare an arsenal of quick comebacks to shut these horrible people up. It's difficult when you are dealing with the mean, rude, socially unacceptable or just plain annoying and stupid people who you want to hit in the back of the head with a shovel.
1. If it is a woman who is about 10 pounds overweight or a little bit chubby,who you are pretty sure is not pregnant, say with a sweet smile, " And so when are you due?"
2. If it is a man with a couple of extra pounds pat his belly and say "And are you expecting twins?"
3. If it is a thin single woman who is just jealous and being bitchy "So are you still single? Your clock must be ticking"
4. If it is someone with children say in a serious tone "I think you are amazing, How do you cope with your children's ADD"
5. Either that or carry some mace and scream "Help! Predator!" and then spray them in the eyes. Or just whack them in the head with the back of a shovel.
It will make you feel better.