Sunday, 27 May 2012

Get a Life and Get a Haircut.

Not Worth the Squeezing

 I notice weird things now that I'm pregnant. Things that I never gave much thought to before.  I was sitting on a bus the other, and saw this guy who was clearly a methaddict or something of that description.  Super skinny, probably in his mid twenties, a lot of teeth missing with a mangy looking dog, and  sitting   next to him was a sullen  little girl, who I can only assume was his daughter.

Later on that day, we had a guy come and fix our internet connection.  I think he hadn't bathed for about a week.  He was sporting a really greasy comb over, had big brown pit stains on his yellow shirt and a tummy hanging about 8 inches over his belt. Clearly from the planet Vulgaria.

While Captain Vulgaria was in the house I looked through the window across the street, and checked out our gaggle of neighbours.  We unfortunately had a bunch of houses that were left vacant for over a year by a bankrupt developer and so we  had a bunch of squatters move in ( luckily we have also just got a court order to remove them).  They play their death metal in the middle of the day.  It sounds like some poor animal is dying in a fight.   They smoke joints in the middle of the street, and sport hair cuts that look like they had an accident with a lawn mower. Their dogs are left to bark for hours and hours on end. They pay nothing for where they live, do nothing all day and devalue our houses more and more for every second they are there. They are the only people who cause a problem on our street.

All I can think when I see these people is the following:  Some poor woman carried you for nine months, went through some kind of painful labour, and quite frankly, you just weren't worth the squeezing.

Maybe that's the great thing about having a dog - it can never grow up to be a crack whore.

Riff Raff.  I salute you.  Now get a life, get a job, and get a haircut. :p


  1. A dog is a safer bet at all times I think, although some human puppies smell kind of good! *waggy tail*

  2. Haha! Ain't that the truth! Oh, how the thought of my son growing up to be some sort of addict or degenerate terrifies me to my very core. Here's to hoping good parenting will make the difference! Hope your squatters and their dogs are out of your hair soon!

  3. Thanks Melissa - however somehow I think that is probably pretty unlikely that your little yogi is going to be anything other than a nice kid...