Tuesday, 12 June 2012

Is That A Tent you are Wearing?

Maternity Shopping

Me at 18 weeks pregnant

Now that I am officially a happy hungry hippo, my jeans are cutting off my circulation at the waistband and I'm getting the whole double bubble effect when wearing my bras (nice) , I thought, ok it's time to go shopping.

I went with my Norwegian friend Kirsten who patiently sat and watched me try on one monstrosity after another.  We gave them names... the first was Oscar the Grouch in Garbage Can.  I looked exactly like this only I'm a bit less green and my eyebrows divide in the middle:

Alison, that garbage can is so becoming

The next was Circus Freak, followed by Old Lady. I think Candy the Stripper was my favourite... it covered about a quarter of my boobs. Sort of like this (believe it or not this chick is actually in a wedding dress.. OMG.)

Screw the ceremony, let's just go back to the hotel

 and last but not least Homeless Person in Potato Sack.   
Oh Alison i almost didn't recognise you....

That's the great thing about pregnancy shopping, you can stand in front of a mirror and laugh at yourself  for the ridiculousness of the situation because you know it's temporary, or at least hope that you don't stick that way... kind of like when your mother told you not to make a stupid face because if the wind changed you would be stuck like a mutant for ever.  I ignored my mother's advice and actually looked like this  for several years :
This is what happens when the wind changes

But - I did it.  I bought my first ever pair of mommy jeans, a sweater that was long enough to cover both boobs and bump sufficiently and a comfy bra.  They are in the first picture above (no, not the bra you pervert).  Then I got home, and after not having any ice cream for months, ate half a Viennetta ice cream cake.  Haha.  I am now a bona fide pregnant person. 


  1. I so understand where you're coming from. The jeans will be a godsend for a while though and then you'll go really crazy and start really considering wearing jogging and pj bottoms in your last months… I know I couldn't get comfy! x

  2. Haha, I love this post. The pictures had me laughing out loud in the office!

  3. I LIVED in dungarees from about 24 weeks. I couldn't find anything else to compare for comfort (and comfort was all I cared about). I was absolutely enormous by the end of my pregnancy. You may laugh now, but I bet you'll be considering it by week 30!...
    H x

  4. Ha, ha love this post, I feel like that and I'm only 16weeks